Wow. Hey. It’s me. The girl who told herself at the start of the year that she would try her hardest to be a better blogger this year. I have completely forgotten the whole blog. I’m actually serious when I say that, lol. I have good reasons though. Since my baby turned 1 on January 31st I’ve had my emotions go up and down a lot. I believe it has got to do with me stopping breastfeeding. It’s just been a little sadder than I thought it would be. While I was breastfeeding in the last months I didn’t find it cute and bonding anymore I was more scared that he was going to bite me, ha ha. Even though he never bit me once he has six teeth so it was a real fear. But besides the relief of no more bleeding nipple fear (I just couldn’t shake that, even though he never bit) it is quite sad that we don’t have that in our routine anymore. He’s so independent. Isn’t it crazy how fast that first year go and when the first birthday rolls around you feel like you just blinked.
Anyway. He’s such a happy, funny and curious little man now and it’s of course lovely to be entering a new chapter. But it has to be allowed to be a little sad to be letting go of the “baby” phase. He’s still a baby obviously but you know what I’m saying. Some mom tears has been shed. I genuinely feel like I could be that person who has 10 kids just because it’s so lovely during the first year before it gets more difficult. Sounds very bad I know, I won’t be having 10 kids of course but the thought of a big family now sounds so much better than it did before I had any kids. It’s selfish to think like that and I’m very self aware and won’t go too far. I just feel like I’ve found out what my life is meant for and it’s to be a mom. I’ll see what the future brings. I know for sure that we want another one in a year or so.
I don’t know guys.. I know I come on here whenever I’m in a weird mood and just vent and that’s not being a good blogger. I mean, if you look back a few posts it’s almost identical to the one I’m writing now. HELP.. I’d like my blog to be a positive place. But it just feels so good to release my thoughts onto “paper” aka a blog post. It feels good to be honest too. Honest and straight forward. Life isn’t always easy, that’s an understatement. I really love my life, I wouldn’t want it any other way then the way it is right now. We’re making changes to make it even better too. My husband and I are a great team. But sometimes I can stay in a little funk for a few months on end. I’m always working on myself. Improving, learning, getting older. (I’ll be 26 later this month. Shit..)
*Had to pause writing here because my son was crying in bed and didn’t want to go to sleep so I got to rock him and he laid his head on my shoulders for like 10 minutes* That rarely happens, guys. That was such a weird coincidence. Maybe he knew I was sad right now, lol. Yeah right. But it was a nice touch, seeing as he never wants to be cuddled. Like ever. But I know he’s attached to me which is a good feeling. Attached but not cuddly. Haha, aw.
Where was I? I can’t remember. I already feel better after that cuddle. I love him so much it hurts.
I need to write down themes of blog posts I’d like to write. I need to find inspiration. I just rarely have the time to sit down in front of my laptop to be honest. But I’d like to do some sort of tags or maybe more lists of questions. I like answering questions in written form. Don’t know why. I’ll see what I can find. Sorry this wasn’t a good or even understandable read. But maybe it was relatable to one or two moms out there in the universe.
Also. Happy International Women’s Day, ladies ❤ If you made it to the end of this post, I appreciate you so much. Please leave your blog in a comment I need to follow more people on WordPress.
❖ 5 things I often say:
– How are you
– Daaaad (hubby’s name around here, obviously lol)
– Can you do me a favor
– I miss my family
❖ 5 topics I often think about:
– Anxiety related thoughts
– How much I love my baby
– Things I look forward to
– Things that need to be done
❖ 5 things that pop up in my dreams:
– Me traveling
– Waking up in weird places
– My hometown
– Being friends with strange people
❖ 5 things I like to do when on vacation:
– Explore the city and/or country
– Try the local food
– Meet locals
– Have a good climate
❖ 5 things I’d like to be done before the year is over:
– I’d like to move back into the city
– I’d like to have purchased a dishwasher
– I would like to have done a good job at blogging
– I’d like to get some sort of help for my anxiety
– I’d like to be more creative
One year ago today was my official due date and I’m feeling very emotional about it. On one hand I miss that last stage of the pregnancy. Feeling that level of expectations, being nervous and knowing what’s about to happen.. It was the best thing I’ve ever experienced. And even though it’s only been one year ago I crave that feeling again so badly. To be completely honest I craved it again after the first 6 months. I struggle with feeling guilty about having baby fever. I mean, my baby isn’t even 1 yet. He is still a baby technically. And I love everything about being a stay at home mom. I would never want him to feel like he wasn’t enough. Do you know what I mean? That’s what I struggle with the most. What if we have another one and he feels left out. I don’t know guys.. HELP!
As it often goes, I start writing these posts about my mom life not really knowing where I’m going with it. I just need to vent to mothers about this. And none of my friends have kids. I just need to hear from someone else that I’m not being completely selfish by really wanting to have another baby. I just picture my boy having a sibling and it’s just an adorable image in my mind. They say that having two is like having 20 but I don’t know. I just really want my kids to be close in age. My siblings and I are very close, my sister is two years older than me and my brother one year younger than me. A bit on the crazy side obviously. My parents did not recommend it, HAHA.. But my husband and his siblings are almost 20 years apart. He is not close with his siblings because they are basically the age of my parents. (His dad was 48 when my husband was born. I’ve always found it very fascinating, lol.) And it would be lovely for him to see a family grow up together like me and my siblings did. I just really love that idea. But on the other side I feel totally guilty about having to share the attention and everything else. I never want to disappoint my first baby. He’s everything.
I know for sure that we want more kids. We are talking about it happening in the near future. I hope my guilt will subside. Having a baby is a miracle and after being a mom for a year I feel like I’ve found the meaning of my life.
Wow guys. The last week has been crazy on the internet. I don’t usually read about drama because I generally don’t care about what ‘celebrities’ do but this one went too far and I’d like to share my thoughts on it. I’m of course a bit late to the party but I have a baby and I don’t get a lot of time to sit down with my laptop and write. I’ll try to make more time in the coming year though.
So for those of you who don’t know what’s been going on in the past week I’ll do a short summary. A huge (with 15 million young, impressionable viewers) YouTuber was on a trip to Japan and filming vlogs. I’ve watched them and he is being disrespectful, rude and embarrassing in all of the videos from Japan. But the biggest shock came on a video he posted on New Years eve. He decided that traveling to a forest by Mt. Fuji which is well known for being a place where about 100 people a year go to end their lives, was a good idea for a video. First off. Why does that sound like a good idea to anyone? It’s not a tourist attraction. It’s known for being a place where people who feel that they have no choice left but to end things go to have peace. Not to be seeked out by YouTubers, and DEFINITELY NOT to be filmed and put on the internet! And yes he found the body by accident but it still doesn’t make it okay. He knew that going into that forest opened up a big possibility of him finding a dead body. The forest is nicknamed “Suicide Forest” for Gods sake.
If you haven’t seen the video, I don’t recommend that you try to find it. It’s a very disturbing video. The guys in the video go up to the victims body and film every bit of it. He even laughs and makes jokes right after. It’s one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen. And it was even on the TRENDING page on YouTube. Can you believe it?
I would feel strongly about this where ever it was in the world, but Japan has a very special place in my heart. I believe I’ve written about it before on this blog but I can’t remember now. Anyway. My husband and I took our honeymoon to Japan in 2015. My hubby has been to Japan many times before we met and he loves it. He has even published a few books with his photography from Japan. And he wanted nothing more than to take me there and show me around, introduce me to his friends there and just watch me experience the country. It was the best time I’ve ever had. We stayed for a month and I have never felt so safe and welcome before.
We are currently planning a trip back in 2019. I just hope that this incident doesn’t harm other tourists and somehow makes the Japanese people view us tourists as nothing more than disrespectful and like we’re making a joke of their country. I made a huge effort when I was there to be as respectful as I can. I read up on the rules and my husband speaks enough Japanese to get us around easily.
I really needed to rant on this subject. I hope this dudes channel gets deleted even though I highly doubt it because he gets so many views it’s crazy. YouTube can’t afford to deny him access I bet. I don’t know, guys. I have never watched his other videos, I didn’t even know who he was until I read about this story. But now I know.
I’ll end this rant there. That felt good! Now I’m gonna fix myself some lunch since the little one is still having a nap. He has started needing two naps a day again now and it’s just so lovely ❤
Before I start, holy s h i t .. I almost just deleted my blog.. *Heavy breathing*! I had a second blog attached to this account and as I was deleting it I was sure it was this one. That would have been a tiny disaster. I need to back this blog up asap.
Anyway.. Happy new year everyone! Isn’t it crazy how fast time just flies? Especially when you have a baby. My boy is 11 months now and his birthday is a few short weeks away. I’m kinda nervous about it but at the same time it’s going to be an exciting day. We won’t do a party on the day but a few weeks after. I’m going to fly back here in the middle of February with my son while my husband goes out of the country for work. I didn’t want my babys first flight to be with just me because I know how anxious I get but I just have to handle it. It’s a 2,5 hour flight.
Do you have any tips for flying with a 1 year old? I’m kinda lost. I think I’ll search through some YouTube videos on the topic. I have to believe in myself that I can handle it. I’m sure I can ❤
How has your Holidays and New Years been? I hope you’re all safe and sound. We’ve had the best time here. We also went up in the mountains for 2 days to my uncles cabin. There was a temperature between -2 and -11! I didn’t go skiing but my husband tried it for the first time and he really got the hang of it. We will do it more next winter, we need to take some more time for the mountain. I feel so at home around the snow. What’s more beautiful than that. Here are some pictures of our lovely time here:
I’m just popping in her in between the gift wrapping, packing and running around with a soon to be 11 month old. I’m so happy! I can’t wait to see my family and just be home. Plus get some baby sitting which I don’t get here at all. AND I’m feeling in such a Christmasy mood for the first time in 2 years. Last year I was heavily pregnant and didn’t get to go home and the year before that I decided to stay here instead of going home. Which I’ll never do again unless there are some reasons why I simply just cannot go.
We’re going to be with my family for two weeks and I’m having a hard time planning how much to pack for me and the baby. Hmm.. I guess I should try to avoid over packing again (like I did this summer) since there is obviously the option to wash stuff there but I just like to have options on what to wear. Haha! I guess that’s normal.
Anyway. I hope you have a great time during the holidays and for new years eve. I hope ya’ll have some time off and eat lots of good food ❤ I hope next year that I’ll get some more inspiration to blog. I love this blog and it has meant a lot to me in the past year and a half. I love the fact that I have a lot of my pregnancy documented on here and I never want to completely quit blogging. I just need some inspiration which I’ll work on finding.
X O X O
This morning my husband woke me up by opening the curtains and telling me it was snowing. That’s a great way of waking up because I love the snow. But snow here is not like the snow I’m used to back home. At least not for the years I’ve lived here. The temperature never drops enough to keep it on the ground here. It’s beautiful for as long as it lasts. By the time hubby came back from work it was already rained away. How rude of nature. Sigh, oh well. Can’t do anything about it. All I’ll do is hope for it to return around mid December and hopefully stay a while!
We leave for Norway on the 22nd of December and I am so excited. I can’t WAIT! I really need to see my family now ❤ I hope ya’ll are excited for Christmas too. I got my baby a cute teddy bear that lights up in different colors and that giraffe chewing toy thing that I’ve seen online a lot. It’s so cute. What’s her name.. I can’t remember. But I thought that was a good enough gift for baby’s first Christmas. He doesn’t know what presents are yet of course so I decided to keep it low. He’ll most likely receive a lot of stuff from his extended family anyway so. Haha! But I am excited to put “from Mom and Dad” on the present. It’s still weird to know that I am “mom”. I love it though. More than anything.
On another note. Have you seen Stranger Things yet? I have. And you should see it too. My husband and I finished season 2 last night and within a week and a half we managed to get all the episodes in after baby was in bed at night. And it’s so so so good. Even though I’m usually a bit skeptical of scary shows or movies, this was just right. We had so much fun watching this together, hubby got really into it. Haha! I highly recommend it.
Just wanted to check in. How are you today? Any advice for me going on a super long car ride with a (then) almost 11 month old? I’m nervous!